What I know.

I have to tell you that I have been extremely uncomfortable since I have been here. Emotionally and spiritually, I am so far out of my comfort zone. I haven't "felt" God in months and I am sad to say that I have based my whole relationship with Him on a feeling. Not feeling Him has not been easy for me. I am in constant wonder of where He is, what He is up to and I am in desperate need of rescue from my selfish self. I have been wanting and actually acting upon my desire to rebel against all of the goodness that I know because my heart is twisted and confused because I don't feel God, and because I don't understand His plan.

Yet within this confusion and misunderstanding, I am constantly in awe of the ground I stand on. Wherever I go, there is always this sense of wonder within me that I am in a place that I have no business being in. It's a very confusing time for me right now. I am so in love with a God that I have no understanding of, that I know loves me beyond what my mind can conceive and far beyond what I deserve...

And now, I believe I am being faced and challenged with a choice: instead of basing my faith on what I feel, I must now learn to base it on what I know... And what I know is that He is good, He is faithful, He loves me, He will rescue me, His plan is better than mine, He will not let me stumble or fall, and that even in my misunderstanding, His love will carry me...

Truth does not hold its weight in a feeling. Truth is solidified in our hearts, beyond where our feelings can go.

This is what I know.