Awaken

WIth everything I have seen, learned, been taught, read or experienced in the last month, I am surprised my head hasn't fallen off. I have been absorbing massive amounts of information about corporate world, while at the same time learning to live in and adjust to a a foreign county. And because it is all so complex, confusing, and overwhelming, the only place I know to look is up. My understanding of what is happening, I believe, is very small. My heart sees a picture that is much bigger than my brain can contain. which I think it explains my lack of communication. I don't know how to describe what is happening in my life right now except that it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make sense that I am where I am at this very moment in time. I was thinking today about how perfect God's timing is. He is so good and so perfect and my life will forever be a testimony to His amazing grace. Even if this is as far as I will ever go, it is farther than I ever could have dreamed and it speaks loudly to who He is. But I don't think this is the end, I think it is just the beginning and I am not sure how to approach it boldfully. I have been praying for my spiritual eyes to be reawakened. Actually, there are a couple people specifically that have been praying for me because I haven't been capable of an honest prayer in months. God is hearing their prayers and for that I am grateful. I am grateful that there is once again a thirst and a hunger that has been missing for awhile. I am grateful that I am beginning to get a small glimpse of what I am doing here, that He is putting amazing people in my life that seem to know me already. I have been having a lot of conversations about choosing between light and darkness. I have had my eyes closed for what seems like forever and the tighter they shut the harder it was becoming to see the light. But I am slowly remembering that the only thing that matters is that Jesus loves me more than life itself, and that the only thing that truly matters to me is to live my life in such a way that other people may come to the same understanding.