today...

Everyone pretty much knows at work now that I am transferring. Word was starting to seep out last week and it was VERY strange for me talking about it out loud. I found myself still whispering and telling people to keep it on the down low. But it's pretty much old news now and everyone seems to know. Today I had a crowd of Aussies standing around my desk telling me where I should live, fun cities, where I will catch the ferry, etc... Apparently there is a battle between people who live in the Eastern Suburbs and the Northern Beaches... Wherever you live, it is better than the other. I am drawn to the Northern Beaches (Manly Beach to be exact) for 2 reasons: 1) obviously because its the beach. I desperately miss living close to the water. There is a path along the ocean there that is great for running and there are 2 big parks nearby. 2) i can take the ferry to work. This sounds like it will be kind of a pain in the butt on the days it is raining and they cancel the ferry, but I really like the idea of being able to have a 45 minute commute on a boat every day where I can finally catch up on my reading, listen to my ipod, and gaze out at the ocean. Apparently this is a fun place to meet people also.

On sort of a side off track note, I have been really struggling in my prayers. I'm not making the time for God that I really need right now. The moments that I do stop and pray, it is almost like I am refusing to listen to what He has to say... I am not sure why. I am feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of what is happening. I look at my life 3 years ago and I have absolutely no idea how I got to this place. God has given me a life that I certainly don't deserve and I feel this pressure to not screw it up. I definitely dont think He is putting that there. Worry and fear have unpacked their bags in my heart and have made themselves very comfortable. They create a lot of unnecessary anxiety. At any rate, I dont know where to focus my attention first which I think is why I am struggling. Prayer seems the perfect solution but there are too many things fighting for my attention I dont know where to begin.  

Anyways, I dont understand God's plan. Some other day, I will talk about the Red Sea and how He has parted it for me. I think He wants me to read about Elijah. I have been hearing the story of him praying for rain 7 times a lot the last couple days. I have no idea how that relates to me right now.

Okay, thats all.